EDITING

Clarity and accuracy .
words on page reflects ideas in head.
Look at areas to improve.
Sparks new ideas.

Capital letters, full stops, commas, apostrophes.

Try reading work aloud.
Print out work and read it on paper.
Change font, size or colour on screen.
read work backwards, word by word.
PRACTICE:

  1. I went to the shop on Monday morning.
  2. My favourite colour is purple.
  3. The house was creaky, old and damp but I wasn’t scared.
  4. It was a cold and rainy day. They’re safe in the car.
  5. “He’s my favourite,” mum said.

PLURAL AND SINGLE:
Single tense – Was, is.
Plural tense – Were, are.

  1. the woman in black (was/is) waiting.
  2. The dogs (were/are) barking.
  3. Running slowly, I (was) going to the shops.
  4. I remembered where we (were/are) at the time.

Have You:
– Used the 5 senses?
– Used appropriate detail?
– Used commas to mark clauses?
– Used capital letters?
– Checked your apostrophes?
– Checked there/their/they’re?
– Used multiple sentence types?
– Used paragraphs appropriately?
– Kept your writing consistent?

short story

resource image

With an almighty roar, the car surged through the clouds. Thousands of disbelieving eyes blinked repeatedly far below as they tracked the red blur across the sky. It had been a smooth journey so far, but now the engine suddenly gave a cough and splutter. That could only mean one thing They were out of fuel.
The car started to turn, it hurtled towards the ground with so much speed it was like a bullet being shot through the sky. From the ground, a distressed gasp arose as onlookers caught a slight glimpse of the bright red car again. Out of the sky it fell, through the curtain of clouds.
This was an unexpected turn of events, thousands of tests had been done in preparation for this day. This was the first car rocket to be sent to space. inside the car …

wow much love libby well done sweetie. also i’m typing because i really wanted to try out your keyboard and i like the sound it makes when you type. hearing Oliva sneeze is funny as haha. i like this computer a lot. also are you going out to do your business questionnaire today or tomorrow? wow your trackpad click feels really nice on my fingers becuase most of the time i cant click properly on my computer. how much does this computer cost, let me look it up. $2,500 holy smoke. oh no he said sharing i dont wanna share mine its pretty shit ah. wow im ready for you to read through all of this and delete heehe – Kate

Point of view

first: use of I – narrator is central character

i, my, me, mine, we, our, myself, us, ours, ourselves, i’m, I’ve

third: use of he/she/they – narrator is telling of others experience

types are omniscient, objective, limited

omniscient = all knowing, narrator knows everything, past presence and future. creates feeling of superiority

objective = no access to inner thoughts of characters.

limited = you only get one characters thoughts.

he, she, is, they, him, her, it, one, them, his, hers, theirs, himself, herself, itself, oneself, themselves

Show Don’t Tell

showing reader something not telling them.
actions, thoughts, feeling, relationships
creates deeper connections with reader
use the senses to create a picture:
taste, touch, sight, sound, smell

His vision blurred as he felt his eyes start to fill with a salty tears, subconsciously he noticed, his mouth go dry as his lip started to tremble, and like a switch he did not have control over, tears like rivers began to roll down his pale cheeks.

Just like every morning, I wake up to the usual sound of my dogs dog breath smelling breathing, without even opening my eyes I can feel his piercing eyes cutting holes in me as he sits at my door, staring expectantly at me with anticipation for our morning ritual, with a whine of annoyance from him I get up.

The second she wrapped her arms around him, and buried her face in his old, worn jacket she was overwhelmed by smell of smoke filling her lungs, threatening to choke .

the moment I stepped outside, the overwhelming coldness of the air was a punch in the face,

prepositions:

describes relationship between things.
a spatial relationship (the bag was under the chair)
a time relationship (they arrived on Monday)
a manner in which something is done (they went by car)

“In”
“Opened on to”
“Without smoke”
“with”
“On and on”
“Into the side”
“Opened out”
“On one side”
“As”
“Then on another”
“On the same floor”
“On the same passage”
“On the left hand side”
“Going in”
“Over”
“Beyond”
“Sloping down”

navigate the scene,
build connections,
develop a 3D impression,
create layers in scene,

Between the stacks of books, upon an old blue chair, sat a young girl.
Consumed within her book, her mind was beyond this world.
In this new world her mind was creating, was a city made of books.
Throughout the streets, she walked,

HYPERBOLE

sight – horrifying, terrifying, captivating

smell – disgusting, most heavenly, pungent

touch – fragile, exquisit

taste – revolting, vomit inducing

sound – un bearable,

with my eyes only micrometers open I stared at my watch for an eternity as I took in what my defying eyes showed me, I slept in.

the clouds were so firery that it lit even the snow enveloped mountains alight

the mountainous rocks were so rounded and smooth that no living thing could make its way onto them

the ____ valley was lit up with what looked like a googleplex of glowing flowers

the beautiful grounds which lay before

personification

The wounded, old tree stood with its long twisting arms out stretched standing there contemplating all it had seen.

the old, scorched tree stood surrounded by the cooling mist, relieved for a break from the burning sun

the towering mountains stood and watched as the peaceful lake imitated itself

as the warming sun awoke, the bright forest came to life

the rickety worn out house died

table: stood, strong, elegant, proud, worn out, old, exhausted

headphones: sung, whispered, sat, lay,

chair: stood, hid, worn out, exhausted, ancient,

computer: awoke, slept, spoke, recorded, fast, died

Book: ancient, worn out, lied, informed, wise, knowledgable

what is personified?: the moon and sun

words used to personify: sulkily, thought, business, rude, spoil, she, he

describe personality: moon is upset at the sun

what is personified: food/dinner

words used to personify: loves, prance, jump, dance, their, twist, tango

describe personality: excited, energetic

Metaphors and similes

LIFE METAPHORS:
Life is a river
Life is a timer, counting down, it will end

LIFE SIMILES:
Lives are like a bunch of books – some are long and some are short
Life is like a piece of string, you don’t know how long it is, but it has an end

DEATH METAPHORS:
Death is a

DEATH SIMILES:

my house is like my I have two of them

my home is like a school on the weekend, no ones really around.

the sun goes down like a flower blossoming in the spring

sunsets are like __ they are brief but beautiful

jellyfish are like

AND THEN THERE WERE NONE ESSAY

Analyse how characters were used to explore the concept of justice.

In the novel written by Agatha Christie “And Then There Were None” published in 1939, Christie uses the characters to explore the concept of justice. This will address the ideas that the justice system was flawed, with cases remaining unsolved without criminal persecution, and how people have different methods to determine what is fair and how justice is reached.

Christie uses the idea that there is a major flaw in the justice system. Meaning that criminals with little evidence against them, slip through the gaps without being prosecuted and justice is not achieved. This was the purpose and underlying message of Christies novel “And Then There Were None” based in Britain in the 1930’s. Christie used the character Judge Justice Wargrave to convey this. Through his letter at the end of the book, that tells of his motive to create a large scaled unsolvable murder “something theatrical, impossible!”, .she is able to explain this idea which also explains why he chose to kill these people in particular.

The killing order that Wargrave is used to demonstrate how those with lesser crimes receive smaller or less harsh punishments to reach justice, in this case the earlier they were killed was intended to be less of a punishments as they didn’t have to go mentally insane waiting to be killed. When deciding the order, Wargrave weighed up all of the aspects to the crimes, he took into account the amount of people killed, the intent, the motive and the way that they were killed. An example of this is why Wargrave killed Vera last. “I wanted to kill… Yes, I wanted to kill. But – incongruous as it may seem to some – i was restrained and hampered by my innate sense of justice. The innocent must not suffer.” The order of death upon the island had been subjected by me to special thought and care. There were, I considered, amongst my guests, varying
degrees of guilt. Those whose guilt was the lightest should, I decided, pass out first, and not suffer the prolonged mental strain and fear that the more cold-blooded offenders were to suffer”
He believed that Vera was guilty of the worst crime out of all of the guests (criminals) he invited to the island. This is because Wargrave believed that her intent and the reasons for it, far out weighed the rest of the crime. The motive behind Vera’s crime was that this little boy was the nephew of her lover, Hugo and was standing in the way of him receiving a large sum of money as inheritance. The only way Vera could see to overcome this problem was for him to die so she took it into her own hands.